Many say that you can waste a lot of time on all the wrong people. However, there are numerous signs that you are putting more into a relationship than you will ever get out of it. Guys who aren’t into you will send signals long before things go terribly wrong. Some men are unable to have a serious relationship, and they may only have one thing in mind. To protect yourself, you need to know how to interpret certain behaviors, and always be on the lookout for red flags. You want to protect your heart at all costs.
Is He Worth the Work?
Ask any man, and they will say that women are confusing and hard to understand. However, guys can be just as perplexing. If you want to know how he really feels about you, then you should observe his behavior in public. He should treat you with the same loving tenderness in front of the world that he does in the bedroom. If you’re not getting his full attention when you are out with his friends, then it’s probably because he isn’t that into you. You deserve to be treated well no matter where you are.
By making a few observations, you can see if he is good boyfriend material or if he is someone that you should send packing. If you want to take things to the next level, then you need to learn a few signs that signal loud and clear that he is not that into you. Here are 15 things to watch out for.
He Is Reluctant to Let You Meet His Family
One of the most significant red flags to consider is that he won’t meet your family and he doesn’t want you meeting his either. You shouldn’t expect to meet the in-laws until you have been dating for a few months.
If it’s been over six months and you still haven’t met his parents, then it could signal that something is awry. Either he doesn’t want to bring you home because he is afraid that your relationship isn’t going anywhere, or he has many girls that he is entertaining at once. If he is unfaithful, he is not going to want to get too personal by meeting the family.
He Openly Tells You That He Likes Other Women
It’s not uncommon for a man to admire the beauty of another woman, especially someone like a celebrity. Consequently, a man that is devoted to you is not going to check out others when you are with them. If his daily conversations talk about the cute girls at work or the beautiful women he saw at the bank, then it’s clear he’s not dedicated to you.
Many times, people see more into a relationship than what’s there, and men and women can be “just friends.” He may be confiding in you because he feels a strong friendship with you. If he is freely talking about his options, then he’s not that into you.
He Won’t Call You by Your Name
Many couples use terms of endearment to show their love one for another. However, you can only be called “sweetie” so many times. After the first few dates, you should graduate into calling each other by name. A guy that has numerous fish on the line will avoid using names for fear of calling you by the wrong one.
Pet names are cute, but there are times that you want to be addressed directly. It could be that he doesn’t remember your real name because his “little black book” is bursting with names. Whatever the reason, it’s not normal to never use your real name.
He Only Calls When He is Intoxicated
Does your man only call you when he has had too many drinks? You should only want to have a conversation when his full attention is on you and it’s meaningful, not when he’s drunk and bored. It’s nice that he is thinking of you when he has had a dose of “truth serum,” but you should be able to talk to each other when you are drunk and when you are sober.
Guys make stupid choices when they are inebriated, and they lose touch of reality. For some reason, alcohol tends to raise libido, which could be one of the reasons why he is calling. If these phone calls bother you, then don’t answer correspondence after midnight.
He Won’t Make His Home Feel Like Yours
When your relationship moves to the place where you are staying at his house constantly, then he needs to clear out an area so that you can keep some stuff there. Whether it’s a drawer or a section of the closet makes no difference, the point is he needs to make room for you in his world. If he is reluctant to do this, then it could be that he doesn’t want you invading his space.
Leaving things at his home is a step towards committing, and it might scare him. When a guy is really into you, he will welcome you staying as much as possible and leaving some items behind. Who wouldn’t want to be reminded of their love in their absence?
He’s A Horrible Conversationalist
Having open lines of communication in a relationship is essential. You must connect about the things you like, dislike, and the things that you are passionate about. Whether you go out to dinner or are sitting at home on the couch, the conversation should flow effortlessly. This doesn’t mean you have to be constantly talking, but a good relationship should have good communication.
If the conversation is one-sided, then it may be because he isn’t into you, or he is terrible at expressing himself. On the other hand, if he won’t shut up and you can’t get a word into the conversation, then he may be self-absorbed and doesn’t care what you have to say.
He Tells Everyone You’re Just Friends
Are you stuck in the friend zone and hoping that he will commit? Is he is cosy in private, but avoids public displays of affection? If you are intimate, yet he still refers to you as his friend, then it may be time to move on.
You can tell a lot of what a guy thinks of you by how he introduces you to his friends, family, and coworkers. Men with commitment issues will often not complicate things by keeping things extra casual. If you experience this, there is a risk that things could be the same way years from now, if he chooses to hang around that long.
He Doesn’t Return Your Texts Right Away
Very few people leave their phone for hours at a time. In fact, most people have them glued to their side. When a person you are fond of texts, most people are anxious to text them right back. However, if your text to him takes hours or even days to be returned, then it’s clear he is not that into you.
The only exception would be if he is at work and is not allowed to use his cell or is too busy. Keep in mind; most people do check their phone on lunch or other breaks. The truth is that if he wants to talk to you and communicate in some way, he will respond sooner rather than later.
He Is Really Unreliable
There is nothing worse than a flaky and unreliable man. Are you always needing to change your plans because he backs out on you at the last minute? Do you feel that you are a backup for when his other ideas don’t work out? It could be that he has a long list of women he is stringing along, and he comes to you when there is nothing better to do.
Another red flag is that he seems to disappear for days on end. He may not give you an explanation, or he may make up a story that pulls at the heartstrings. If he really does care about you, then he wouldn’t just avoid you for several days. Instead, you would be the first thing on his mind and heart when he wakes up in the morning, and you would be the last thought before he went to bed. Don’t settle for a man that sees you for nothing more than the convenience factor.
He Treats You Like He Treats His Friends
Guys are often hard to read, and they don’t come with manuals on how to figure them out. An excellent way to tell if the way he treats you is superior to the way he treats his friends is to go out with them. Does he hug, give a kiss on the cheek, or become touchy-feely when in the presence of his other lady friends? You may be mistaking flirting for his outgoing personality.
While it may seem that he is giving you extra attention, it could just be the way he is around women. Some guys give off signals that they don’t intend too. Try to notice the way he looks at other women and his body language when in their presence. If you cannot tell the difference in the way he treats them from the way he handles you, then you are not as special to him as you thought.
He’s Closed Off Emotionally
When most people find that special someone, they learn to break down the walls that have surrounded their heart. They will open up about their past, bad things that have happened to them, as well as their hopes and dreams. Some men can be emotionally stunted. They are afraid to talk about things that get too much into their personal stuff. When you are in a serious relationship, you need to communicate about the good, bad, and ugly things that have happened in life.
If you get one-word answers after three or four months of dating, then it’s a sign that he is not that interested in you. Guys like to skate around the issues rather than tackle them head-on. He may be afraid to tell you the truth because he is fearful that it might send you packing.
The other option is that he is afraid that if he tells you his secrets that it’s exposing part of himself that he wants to keep hidden. If he feels strongly about you and your future together, then he will want to share the innermost parts of his soul with you.
He Would Rather Stay in Than Go Out In Public With You
First dates should always be in public for safety. However, after a few dates, it’s acceptable to take him back to your house. If your man would rather sit on the couch or only alternate between the bedroom and your kitchen, then you have a problem. What does he say when you ask him to take you to the movies or bowling? When guys don’t take a girl in public, it’s usually because something is going on.
You might also consider that he may be uneasy in crowds. Social anxiety and agoraphobia are quite common these days. Counselling and mediation can help fix this problem. He may also be low on funds. You can test him by offering to pay for a night on the town.
More likely than not, his problem is coming from a more sinister issue. He could be embarrassed to be seen with you, or he could fear who you may run into when you are together. You don’t want to be the dirty, little secret. If he is hiding you, then there is a reason behind it.
He Avoids Sexual Contact
There are few men alive that don’t like sex. Guys have no problem having casual sex. Most just want to get pleasured and be on their way. If he doesn’t want to take your relationship to the next level, then there is something very wrong in this association. These days, people are eager to hop in the sack on the first date. If you hold out for a month, you are doing miraculous things.
One reason that a guy doesn’t want to sleep with a girl is that he feels it might ruin the friendship, which means he may see you as a friend. Another thing to consider is that he may have a serious relationship that he never told you about. Flirting is one thing but having sex is another. You must also keep in the back of your mind that he could be gay. Guys from the LGBTQ community are the best friends and companions ever. They just don’t want to be intimate with a woman. This is probably the biggest red flag of all. If you are not knocking boots occasionally, then there is an issue.
You Have A Bad Feeling About the Situation
Women have an intuitive nature that helps them to raise children and get through life. Some people say that when the situation is right, they have a good feeling about it. Do you always fight back feelings that something is not right in your relationship? Always listen to your heart. The uneasiness that you feel is coming from somewhere.
Make a list of all the things that could bring this unsettling feeling. Do you feel it’s worthy of saying your goodbyes? Why not sit down and have a chat with him about the things that are bothering you? He may be able to put your mind at ease, or he may give you the answers you need to know this relationship is going nowhere fast.
His Body Language with You Is Distant
You can always spot a couple in love. It’s the way they look into each other’s eyes, the way they hold hands, and giggling like a schoolgirl when he puts his arm around her. Body language is a huge predictor of how a couple feels about each other. How does your body language measure up?
Does he hold your hand in public and want to sit as close to you as possible? Does he keep his eyes on you or avoid eye contact? What about his pupils? If he is really into you, then his pupils will enlarge to focus. If the pupils are small and constricted, then he is bored or isn’t enjoying what he sees. Another factor is the position of his torso. If it is facing you, then he is into you. However, if it’s turned the other way, then it’s focusing on something or someone, else in the room.
Finding Your Prince Charming
Dating is difficult, you can end up with a great guy or waste time with a dud. Using your intuitive nature, and some clues you gather, you can easily see if he is into you. Remember, the only thing worse than being single is being with the wrong one. When the right one comes along, you’ll just know. You won’t have to worry about fighting for the time or attention of your man. However, you may have to endure a few failed relationships to find your perfect match.